Milk-shake, rattle 'n' roll Cake

Marble Malt Kit Kat Cake 

 Cast your mind back to a simpler time. 

 
Think: black and white checker board diner floors.

Think: duke boxes pumping out sounds of the 50s.
Think: waiters on roller-skates gracefully balancing an order while zooming around a parking lot.
Think: greasy food devoured without the burden of "low-carb-gluten free-fructose-friendly-seriously can you order anything" restrictions and woes.
Think: the majestic froth topped, whipped cream bound, ice-cream lathered and lactose lavished milkshake.

  

Ah, the milkshake.

An irreverent nod to a time without fad diets, food intolerances and strict health regulations that made companies declare the possibility that; "...at some point during the manufacturing process the gluten free, fructose friendly, low lactose and nut-free product, might have in fact been invaded by a horde of Allergen Aliens who could, and probably did, slip any number of these ingredients into the product". Often, this declaration is followed by a complaints hot line number: Just call 1800-PleaseDon'tSue.

  

Alas, I digress, back to the 1950s and the iconic milkshake. 

Brace yourself: a Fistory (that's Food History...obviously) lesson is coming your way. Please keep your arms and legs inside the time travel vehicle at all times and if you feel your eyes becoming heavy and the urge to sleep overwhelming, break emergency glass and inhale copious amounts of sugar and caffeine. 

The milkshake originated in the 1800s and unlike the family friendly favorite of the 50s, it was originally an alcoholic whiskey drink, consumed  as a naughty nightcap by adults once the children had retired to la-la land. I'm guessing that it gained the nickname "milkshake" when said adults were sprung by sleeping walking children...really brings a whole new meaning to a warming glass of "milk" before bed. Come the 1900s the drink became un-whiskified and re-branded, thus becoming synonymous with the G-rated, frosty, frothy version that became so popular in the 50s. Bless.   

Fistory lesson complete. 

You may now wake up, rub your eyes and behold the milkshake cake. My nostalgic nod to a simpler time and the divine flavors of malt infused, creamy goodness. With a dense malt-choc marble cake, covered in malt flavored buttercream, surrounded by a hug of Kit Kats and topped with a halo of milkshake M&Ms, this decadent cake is gluten loaded, fructose heavy, lactose laden and simply...glorious. An ode to a time that just screams "Milk-shake, rattle 'n' roll".

Consumer Warning: while the good times do roll with this celebration cake, it is not recommended that you dust off the ole' rollerskates, grease up the creaky bones and zoom this dessert out to your guests.

Little known Fistory Fact: many a milkshake died in the 1950s due to this practice which discriminated heavily against those possessing two left feet and a severe lack of balance.

Malt-marble Cake:

2 cups sifted flour
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
150g butter
30g dark chocolate melted
3/4 cup milk
1/2 cup malt powder
1 1/4 cup caster sugar
3 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla essence  

Preheat oven to 180 degrees. Grease and line a 20cm large deep tin.

To make the Malt infused milk: 
In a small pot over a low flame, combine 3/4 cup of milk with 1/2 cup malt powder. Gently heat the mixture, stirring with a whisk until the powder has dissolved and infused the milk. Then remeasure the malt milk to fill 3/4 cup measurement (discard any leftovers). Set aside to cool.

Cream the butter and sugar together. Add the eggs one at a time beating well after each addition. Add sifted flour ingredients in two batches, alternating with malt infused milk, beating only well enough to blend. Finally, add the baking powder with the last spoonful of flour (this will ensure that the baking powder is not overworked in the mixer). Divide the batter into two bowls. Fold the melted chocolate and vanilla essence into one bowl of batter and leave the other batter plain. Dollop the two batters into the lined tin in alternating spoonfuls, then use a cake skewer to gently swirl the two batters together forming a marbled effect.

Bake for one hour or until when tested the skewer comes out clean. Leave in the tin for 5 minutes before turning out onto a cooling rack.

Malt Icing:

160g butter
1/4 cup, plus 1 tbsp milk
1/2 tsp vanilla essence
1 3/4 cups sifted icing sugar
1/2 cup malt powder

In a small pot over a low flame, combine 1/4 cup and 1 tbsp of milk with 1/2 cup malt powder. Gently heat the mixture, stirring with a whisk until the powder has dissolved and infused the milk. Remove from the heat and allow to cool. In a mixer beat the butter until smooth and then add the sifted icing sugar and vanilla essence. Continue to beat until smooth (about 45 seconds). Add the cooled malt infused milk and continue to beat until the buttercream is light and fluffy (about 3 minutes).

To Decorate:

1 batch of Malt Icing
2 packets of Milkshake flavoured M&Ms
21 Funsize Kit Kats (my suggestion is to buy 2 Funsize multipacks, in which the Kit Kats come individually wrapped in pairs. Do NOT break the Kit Kats apart, leave them joined).

Generously ice the cake with the Malt icing, ensuring that you adequately cover the top and sides of the cake. Unwrap the Kit Kats and surround the sides, gently pressing in the Kit Kats as you go in order to make certain that they are stuck to the icing. Once the entire cake is surrounded, use some ribbon to gently wrap around the cake, not only does it look lovely, but it also helps the Kit Kats to set to the icing, reducing the amount of mess when you come to cut to the cake. Finally, open up two packets of Milkshake flavoured M&Ms and haphazardly dump them on top of the cake! There is no room for perfectionist based obsession with this stage of the decoration. The M&Ms will fall at will and it magically creates a "oh, why yes, I did just roll out of bed looking this awesome" effect, that will dazzle onlookers.

Enjoy a generous slice of this cake with a glass of cold milk. Or, better yet, why not pair it with its 1950s soul-mate; a handsomely tall, dark and creamy milkshake!

   

Choc-chip-off-your-shoulder Cake

Choc-Chip Cookie Cake 

Growing up there was only one sure fire cure for everything that ails you. 

The choc-chip biscuit. 

Witness the miracle wonder cure in action for yourselves:  

"Step right up ladies and gentlemen, step right up. Is life turning your smile upside down? Is your mouth puckered into a permanent grimace, with brow creases so deep that it puts the Grand Canyon to shame?
 

Well folks, today is the day that you have been waiting for. I present to you the marvelous, the miraculous mood mending medicine that is guaranteed to have your blues turning into rose colored hues. Introducing the choc-chip-off-your-shoulder biscuit. Step right up ladies and gentlemen, don't be shy. 

Hard day at school? 
Take 2 generous doses until the soft chocolate centers negate the ill effects of your hard day.

Exam stress? 
Take 1 every four hours until the deadline dies.

Bad baking experiment? 
Open the lid and pour the entire jar into your mouth and await bliss.

No more cookies? 
Mix together active ingredients and consume raw.

Ladies and gentleman, there is no chip too large and no burden to heavy that the cookie can't bear. The ancient blend of brown sugar, butter, vanilla essence and chocolate chip buttons are carefully brewed with ample quantities of good intentions and baked beneath golden rays of sunshine. Mark my words; the choc-chip off your shoulder biscuit will be the remedy to your melancholy melody; sure to change your tune and your outlook on life.

In the unlikely event that one batch does not fully cure your ailment, I give to you: the choc-chip off your shoulder cake. One of the 7 wonders of the baking world, this beauty has four tiers that reach up to the heavens. Each level of biscuit crunch is sandwiched together with layers of Nutella cream cheese filling. Behold the gravity defying, Amazonian cookie cake that will tower over your woes turning them into wows".

So there you have it: the super-sized miracle choc-chip biscuit turned into a celebration cake. Don't believe the hype? Well, get into the kitchen and whip one up today, as this baking wonder has to be eaten to be believed. 

Choc-chip Cookie: (Yields 4 giant cookies)

450g softened butter

1 1/2 cups caster sugar

1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar

2 tsp vanilla essence 

4 eggs   

4 cups sifted plain flour

2 tsp bicarbonate soda

Pinch salt

1 cup dark chocolate melts

1 cup milk chocolate melts

1 cup mini M&M's

Preheat the oven to 190 degrees Celsius. Line 2 round 19cm spring-form baking tins with baking paper. 

Beat the butter, sugars and vanilla essence until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time beating well between each addition. Gradually add the flour, salt and bicarbonate soda. This point about gradually adding the dry ingredients is very important to adhere to as the batter quantity is enormous (after all, it is not one of the 7 wonders of the baking world for no reason). I don't know about you but I don't have an industrial mixer in my home, I have my trusty Kenwood that was been passed down to me and such outranks me in seniority. Age has not worn this beauty down, and it is always up for any task I throw at it, and in turn I show it great respect. To throw 4 cups of flour straight in and expect it to be able to mix through it would be tantamount to negligence and may result in you having to replace your mixer. Instead whisper sweet nothings to your loyal and hardworking mixer and GRADUALLY add the dry ingredients. Once the dry ingredients are well combined fold through the 3 cups of chocolate.

Using slightly damp hands, gently press 1/4 of the batter mixture into the first spring-form tin (it should be about 2cm in depth). Repeat this process into the second spring-form tin and then put both tins into the oven for 25 minutes, or until the biscuits have a light golden brown appearance. Allow the biscuits to rest in the tins for 5 minutes before running a knife around the edges and releasing the tin. Place onto a cooling rack. Repeat the process in order to make 2 more giant biscuits.

Note: You may have a little bit of batter left over and with this you have several options at your disposal; make a large cookie, make a few small cookies or eat the batter raw with a dollop of ice-cream (no one will judge you if you choose the latter option!) While the biscuits are cooling, move onto making the Nutella Cheesecake Filling.
  
Nutella Cream Cheese Filling:

1/3 cup icing sugar
150g softened butter
150g softened Nutella
100g light Cream Cheese      

Beat the sugar, softened butter and cream cheese until light and fluffy. Place the Nutella in the microwave for 5-10 seconds in order to slightly soften it, then add to the mixer, beating until well incorporated.

Assembling the cake:

Place a little bit of the Nutella Cream Cheese onto the serving platter, then secure one of the biscuits in order to stabilize the base of your cake. Spread a generous amount of filling on top of the biscuit and then place a second biscuit on top of the first. Continue layering the filling and biscuits until 4 biscuits high. Then stand back, with a glass of milk and admire one of the greatest wonders of the baking world before using a serrated knife to cut yourself a massive slice of happiness. 

Cup of Cookies & Milk

One Cup of cookies & a shot of malted milk

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas everywhere you go...

Well, at the time I dreamed up these delicate miniature chocolate chip cookie cups filled with creamy malted milk, it was beginning to look a lot like Christmas in New York. Fast forward six months and it is beginning to look a lot like winter in Australia, which is still the perfect season for cookies and milk in front of a roaring fireplace.

All my life I have been obsessed with Christmas; the lights, the  trees, the songs, the spiced baked goods and lashings of mulled wine. As I don't actually celebrate Christmas, my theory is that the film industry (coupled with Coca Cola's genius branding of the big jolly man in the red suit), has a lot to answer for in the way that this particular festive season is sealed into my subconscious desires.

Nevertheless, my most beloved Christmas tradition speaks to my baker within. I am speaking of the ritual that requires you to leave cookies and milk for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve so that when he shimmies down the chimney (or crawls through the doggy door) his are desserts await. The origin of this practice is unclear, but I do have to wonder whether it was developed as a practical security measure.

Reflect for a moment if you will; an old man in a red suit is breaking into your house while you are sleep.

Far from ideal.

Perhaps this particular bake-dition was created by the local neighborhood-watch, in the hope that by the time Santa reached your house, he would be too hefty to fit down the chimney, or crawl through the doggy door or even squeeze between the burglar bars (you can take the parents out of Africa, but you can't take Africa out of the parents). Whatever the basis for the mysterious tradition is, I am a fan. In fact it was this very Christmas ritual that inspired my invention of baked cookies & milk (I figured if I was the big man, I would not want to waste time sculling a glass of milk at every house all over the world in one night. The lactose intolerant in me sympathizes with the consequences of such an action).           

The only part of Christmas that I have never understood is why it exists only once a year. Surely a holiday this spectacular should be celebrated all year round and is to be enjoyed 365 days of the year? Baking these buttery, malt infused goodies taught me an unexpected lesson that answered my (Chris)mass pondering session. While making these biscuits I was sick... really sick... lost-my-sense-of-smell-and-taste sick. I could not enjoy the scent of butter wafting from my oven (nor the milkshake scented filling) or taste the tiny bits of milk chocolate that I had lovingly chopped into the shortbread batter. Friends and family popped them in their mouths one at a time, with the look reminiscent of a child the night before Christmas plastered on their faces, fascination, awe and unadulterated joy.

I was in Hell.

I was the Grinch who wanted to destroy Christmas (and those little cups of cookies & milk).

Instead, I put one biscuit aside and waited for THREE whole days until a flicker of taste had returned. Then, I opened the container, pausing to savour the rich, buttery aroma and nibbled just a corner...then engulfed the rest. All my Christmases had come at once and I learned the lesson of patience and anticipation. The deliciousness was magnified because I had to wait, counting down the days until I could appreciate all that tiny, but mighty, biscuit had to offer. This is why Christmas can only fall once a year, it's special festivity is to be anticipated for 364 days, but savoured and celebrated for just one...on the other hand, you can just make these divine biscuits every day of the year, and Christmas can be eternal!        

Shortbread cookie cups

250g butter
1/3 cup icing sugar
1/3 cup cornflour
1/4 cup caster sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla essence
2   1/3 cups plain flour
1/2 cup milk chocolate drops chopped finely

Set the oven to 180 degrees Celsius.

Melt the butter in the microwave using short bursts of 45 seconds. Allow the melted butter to cool slightly. Into a mixer, sift the icing sugar and cornflour, then add the caster sugar. Then add the cooled, melted butter and vanilla essence, beating until the consistency changes to thick and creamy (this will take about 5-6 minutes). Add the sifted flour and mix well until a soft dough forms. By hand, fold through the finely chopped milk drops, until evenly spread throughout the dough.

Picking up about a tablespoon of dough, roll into a ball and use your palms to flatten into a disc that it approximate 10cm in diameter. Then, using a 24 capacity mini cupcake tray (not greased or lined), ease the disc into the tray gently lifting the sides in order to press the base down flat. You will want to make sure that disc is beg enough and thick enough to cover the capacity without any wholes or breaks. The disc will slightly overhang the edges of the cupcake capacity, but this is fine as it will form a lip around the cookie cup making it sturdy and easier to remove from the tray once baked. If any cracks form as you are easing the disc into the tray simply pinch the dough to seal the cracks. Once you have repeated this process and all the cupcake cases in the tray are filled, use a dessert fork to gently pierce the bases (I pricked the cups three times with the fork, this will help to reduce to amount that shortbread rises, allowing for them to retain a cavity which will then be filled).

A tip: if you have dough left over, grab another mini cupcake tray and repeat the process. All the shortbread must be molded at the same time (not one tray at a time), otherwise the dough dries out which will cause it to crack and become impossible to be transformed into cookie cups.

Bake the cookie cups for 18-20 minutes or until golden brown. Remove them from the oven and allow them to cool for 5 minutes. Then, gently give the cups a twist in the tray and remove onto a cooling rack. The high butter content in shortbread means that the cups will not stick to the tray and easily pop put after baking (the wonderful miracle of butter!)

Once completely cooled, the cups are ready to be filled.

Malted Milk Filling:

50g butter (softened)
50g malt powder (not Milo, but rather the Nestle Malt powder)
35g white chocolate
1 1/2 cups icing sugar
1 tbsp milk

In a mixer, beat the butter until light and fluffy and then gradually add sifted icing sugar and continue to beat until smooth and pale. Add melted chocolate, malt powder and milk and once more beat the mixture until smooth. Using a spatula, scoop the icing into a piping bag (my fancy piping bag is actually a disposable zip lock bag, from which I fill and then snip the corner off to pipe - works a charm). Fill each cookie cup with a generous amount of malt filling and allow time for it set.

The beauty of shortbread biscuit is that the filling won't make the biscuit base soggy, rather it remains crispy and buttery short, while the malt filling is a smooth and creamy contrast. Pre-filled cookie cups will last up to a week in an airtight container, and unfilled cups can be stored and frozen for up to two months.

Note: If the cookie cups are filled, they won't even last a week because, between the likes of Santa Claus, family and friends, they will be gone in the blink of an eye.    

     

Pretzel Choc-aramel Trender Bender

Pretzel Choc-aramel Slice


Trends. 
Fads. 
In vogue.

Words often applied to the fashion world. Words that conjure up flashes of padded shoulder pads, flared flares, neo-rific neon and scrunched scrunchies.

Trends. 
Fads. 
In vogue.


Words often applied to the world of interior design. Words that conjure up images of peachy peach kitchens, brown suede swathed in plastic and the more recent "vintage-rustic-industrial-is-it- scratched-enough-to-appear-authentic?" everything.

Trends. 
Fads. 
In vogue.

Words also applied to the world of baking. I know what you are thinking; "Vogue would not approve of calorific endeavours such as baking, thus it could never be"in vogue". Incorrect. Trends, fads and baking forays that have been "in vogue" include, but are not limited to, a trifle chaotic trifles, instantly instant tasting mousses, "it's-pronounced-macarons-not-macaroons" macrons, pop in the mouth cake pops and the enduring cupcake craze.

Here is the thing about trends, they came into vogue, drive us crazy and then against our better judgment they begin to worm their way into our hearts, wardrobes, homes and even our taste-buds. I have reveled in the use of hair scrunchies, dotted my home with "vintage-rustic-industrial-is-it-scratched-enough-to-appear-authentic?" everything and have popped a cake pop...or two...or five. Like all good trends they will ultimately crash in and fade out. I gave up scrunchies in the 90's (10 years too late), eventually popped my cake pop bubble (it is just mushed cake!) and the "vintage" pieces now just look old. Yes, you too will come to empathize with the sentiments of Grandpa Abe Simpson who once claimed, "I used to be with it. But then they changed what 'it' was.' Now what I am with, is no longer 'it'." 

However, every so often, there are fads which become favourites and there they shall remain long after the peach kitchens have rotted. There is one food fad which has truly captured my baking essence, I loved it long before it become trendy for "foodies".

I loved it as a child when I used to put the buttered popcorn in my mouth at the same time as a handful of rich M&Ms.

I loved it as a child when I used to dip pretzels into ice-cream while receiving horrified stares. Side Note: apparently this is not so crazy when Ben and Jerry's "creates" it in the form of Chubby Hubby, then it is considered inspired...genius...revolutionary...I digress.

The trend of which I speak, the one that has captured the culinary world, is the combination of salty and sweet in baked goods and desserts. Think: salted caramel everything, salted malted choc chip biscuits and chocolate tarts topped with cracked sea salt. A match made in baking heaven. The salt enhances the rich, velvety taste of chocolate and the buttery burnt taste of caramel.

With thanks to the power of #trending, my obsession for salty-sweet has now become socially acceptable, which led to the creation of my slice, fondly nicknamed "Pretzel Caramel Chocolate Madness". No longer do I need to hide my pretzels deep in the ice-cream, feigning surprise when my spoon makes contact. No longer do I need to wait for a darkened cinema in order to covertly stuff popcorn and chocolate into my mouth simultaneously.

I have emerged out of the shadows and can now loudly, proudly declare that, "I am on a Pretzel Choc-aramel Trender Bender". 

Pretzel Base:

3 cups crushed salted pretzels (approx 250g grams)
1 tbsp caster sugar
170g salted butter, melted 

Chocolate Caramel Slice (adapted from Women's Weekly recipe)   

60g butter
395g condensed milk
2 Tbsp Golden Syrup
185g dark eating chocolate
2 teaspoons vegetable oil

Chocolate covered pretzels
  
 36-40 salted pretzels  (extra)
100g dark eating chocolate (extra)

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Line a 20x30cm rectangular tin with baking paper, extending the paper to hang 5 cm over the long edges of the tin.

Place the pretzels into a food processor and pulse until it resembles a fine crumb (a similar texture to crushing biscuits for a cheesecake base). Add the melted butter and sugar into the processor and continue to pulse until the mixtures comes together. Firmly press down the pretzel crumbs into the base of the tin, until it is evenly spread. Ensure that the base is compacted tightly in order to create a stable base that can be cut without cracking (using the base of a glass to press down the crumb is a useful strategy).
Bake the base for 15 minutes, then remove from the oven and allow to cool.  

Melt the 100g of dark chocolates and carefully dip the tops of 36-40 unbroken salted pretzels, laying them on baking paper to set at room temperature (do not put in the fridge or freezer as this will cause the chocolate to discolour). Set the pretzels aside and begin to work on the caramel chocolate slice.

Combine the butter, condensed milk and syrup in a medium saucepan; stir over a low heat until smooth (keep stirring to avoid the bottom of the mixture catching and burning). Pour the mixture over the cooled pretzel base and bake for about 15 minutes or until the caramel is golden brown. Set aside to cool.

Break the chocolate into a heatproof boil with the vegetable oil and microwave until melted and smooth. You will need to do this is 15 second bursts, stirring in between, to make sure that it does not burn. Spread the chocolate mixture over the cooled slice. Then carefully place the chocolate covered pretzels on top until the entire surface is covered.

Refrigerate for about an hour, until set, before using a hot knife to cut into pieces.

Enjoy the bursting sensation of salt and sugar as it trends across your taste buds.


This fad is by far an everlasting fav!